The 4 Words That Make People Obey
I like magic, you wave your wooden stick, say Abracadabra, and something unexpected appears out of nowhere. But what if it were real? If pronouncing a few words could make people do what you want?
It kinda exists. Those 4 words are: "But you are free."
Back in 2000, two French researchers, Nicolas Guéguen and Alexandre Pascual, stumbled upon something fascinating. They found that adding the simple phrase "But you are free" to a request dramatically increased the likelihood of compliance. We're talking about doubling the chances of getting a "yes".
Here's how it went down: They asked random people on the street for some change to take the bus. When they just asked straight up, about 10% of people helped out. But when they added "But you are free to accept or refuse," that number jumped to 47.5%.
Of course people are free, so why did those words matter? What did it change?
Human Reactions are Easy to Anticipate
See, we humans are funny creatures. We like to think we're in control, that our choices are our own. When someone reminds us of our freedom to choose, it tickles that part of our brain that craves autonomy. A bit like this manipulation technic where you say something nice to someone before asking for what you need of them.
But if you need to say that the person is free, is it really the case? Think about it. If you truly had no stake in their decision, would you even mention their freedom?
This is where we enter the realm of ‘the Pressure Paradox’. Saying "But you are free" actually applies a sneaky form of pressure. If we had to translate it, it’d be: "I'm giving you a choice, so now the ball's in your court." It triggers a sense of responsibility in the listener. They can't blame you for pressuring them, because you explicitly said they're free.
It taps into something called ‘psychological reactance’. When people feel their freedom is threatened, they push back. This is like someone telling you not to do something, and suddenly that's all you want to do. By explicitly stating their freedom, you're preemptively neutralizing that pushback. You're saying, "No threat here. You're in control."
But Does it Really Work?
Studies have consistently shown that using this phrase can double the likelihood of someone complying with a request. However, like any tool, it's not foolproof. Recent research has shown that this technique has its limits.
It works better in face-to-face interactions than in written communication. It also works better when used right away, the more you wait, the less it has impact.
It’s definitely not a magic bullet. It's not going to work every time, and it's certainly not going to work if you're not genuine about it. But used correctly, it can be a powerful tool in your persuasion toolkit. (Sorry I made you believe it was magic.)
How to Use BYAF in Marketing?
BYAF is not usable online, but the idea of it, is. If you want to use pressure to sell, you absolutely need to hide it behind a positive/negative.
Pressure sells, but only when not perceived as pressure.
A few examples:
A time-limited promotion where pressure is hidden behind a positive. ‘Ok it’s pressure, but for a good reason because I might be able to save money.’
Scarcity. Pressure is hidden behind a potential negative ‘There is 3 items left, if I wait for too long, I might not have the opportunity to buy any.’
A freebie. Pressure is applied by pushing a reciprocation. ‘I received something for free, I should give back by buying their product.’
Basically, pressure is based on either: ‘I need to buy quick to get a positive’ or ‘I need to buy quick to avoid that negative’.
In this case, ‘But You Are Free’ is a derivate from that second option. It’s a pressure to give back. ‘I showed you respect, now do the same by accepting my demand.’
Of course the way the sentence is put makes the pressure fairly low. It explains why this method only works face-to-face, imagine someone online telling you ‘Here’s my product, you are free to buy it or not.’
It wouldn’t have much impact.
Pressure is a great tool to shorten the Evaluation phase, as seen in this article.
To summarize if you don’t want to check the article: the shorter the time you give to the potential client, the smaller the risk that they’ll decline buying. Pressure muffles doubt and gets rid of procrastination. Two big enemies of a marketer.
‘Carrot and Stick’ Pressure Marketing
But what if we used a positive pressure and a negative pressure at the same time?
This is the ‘Carrot and stick’ approach. By mixing a positive and a negative together, you give even more reasons for your audience to buy.
When a clothing store is doing clearance on last sizes available that’s exactly it. Scarcity meets promotion. The only issue in that example is that the promotion is tied to the availability of the product, so the impact of the promotion, the ‘carrot’, is minimized by the impact of the ‘stick’.
It would have been more impactful to put a time-limited promotion that ends whether the product is still available or not.
If you want to do the same for digital products, you can explain that you are doing a promotion on a product before taking it out of your catalogue. You can say that the reason is that you want to keep your website easy to navigate and keep a limited amount of products for this reason.
You can also launch a coaching that you only sell to 10 clients for the time being (the stick). And at the same time you can give away a free product with it for the first batch of coaching as a launch offer (the carrot). In this case the ‘stick’ is weaker because the coaching offer will come back, the ‘carrot’ is the biggest selling point as it’s a one time offer.
Another example, this one very common: The Tunnel. I give you a free ebook if you register to my newsletter. I’ll then send you a dozen emails with a lot of free marketing content and at the end of that batch of emails, I’ll give you a time limited promotion for my course. In this case the ‘stick’ is the need for reciprocation because of all the free content I sent, and the ‘carrot’ is the exclusive and time-limited promotion for my course. In this case, I need to make the ‘stick’ stick out (ok that was funny admit it.)
What I mean is, I need to make the reader understand that I gave a lot of free content to trigger the reciprocity, plus it needs to be in a way that creates pressure, while keeping it smooth to not make it seem like I’m begging.
How would you do it? Take a minute to think about it before reading my take on it.
Ok, done?
Here’s what I’d do: I’d ask the reader to reply to the promotion email to keep receiving my newsletter. Something like ‘I want to keep receiving the newsletter!’. It could even be a button on the email to push.
This is a subtle way of making the reader understand that the free knowledge I’m giving can stop. And also it reenacts the decision to keep receiving it.
It’s just an example to show you how subtle the pressure needs to be, for it to work.
The Limits of Pressure Marketing
Pressure can be a powerful marketing tool, but you need to be careful using it, to avoid sabotaging your sales.
The key is to never pressure a client using positive or negative tactics that generate negative emotions.
Here are some examples:
Fake Scarcity:
If you say that a digital product will be removed from your store, only to bring it back a month later, that is the worst thing you can do to the trust your clients have in your brand.
Guilt Tripping:
Using your personal issues, like not being able to feed your family, as a 'stick' to encourage purchases is a no-go. Your readers and potential clients aren’t responsible for your life. This is the best way to have your readers lose respect for you and your brand.
Fear Mongering:
Don’t tell your readers that something negative will happen if they don't buy your product. This only creates unease and negative feeling towards your brand.
Lowering Self-Esteem:
Statements like "your life sucks, but it will improve if you buy my product" are manipulative. They artificially create a need by making people feel bad about their lives. Positivity sells and create bonds with your clients, negativity destroys that. Even if you manage to make a few sales thanks to it, you are losing on much more.
End Words
All in all, pressure is a tool that can make or break your marketing.
A violin creates beautiful musical pieces with the right pressure at the right place. Or it can wreak it. Make sure your pressure points are always a win-win, keep it positive and you’ll build a solid brand.
Oh and subscribe to my newsletter. No pressure ;)